Hi, I'm Dee, and let me get this out of the way... 5/18/09

I'm a freaking moron. Just wanted to tell you all that. It's official, I've made a fool of myself in front of people who probably actually liked me. as if I hadn't already secured that for myself.

On the plus side, at least Lauryn told Matt I don't like him anymore. (THANKYOU, btw.)

Becasue I don't. And it's not denial, I've just moved on. I'm particularly good at changing whether or not I like someone. How do you think I had a new crush every week? Honestly, that's the main reason I went for most of the guys I went for back in monti-smello. like, the ones I hadn't ever looked twice at, but then the next week I wanted to go out with them. Basically, it's like imprinting (to use a lame twilight reference), except WAY less extreme. I just found certain qualities in people that I liked, and built off that. Like Rylee's brother. She talked about him all the time, and the more I heard, the more I realized that he's a really cool guy and that those were basic guidelines for people I'd really liked in the past. (Plus, he had killer eyes.)

So, there. Now you know my secret. That's how I managed to have a new crush every two weeks.

But of course, there were the guys who I never in a million years could ever date, such as Tucker and Dylan, and yadda yadda, who I couldn't keep myself from liking or make myself stop liking them.

Anyway, moving on..

I found another reason why this is the WORST city in the world for me... the only SxE guy (straightedge- no drinking, no drugs, no smoking, no casual secks) here is taken, and while I have to admit he's cute, he is SO taken. and has been for ages. So I'm not even gonna try to be anything "more than friends" or whatever. (btw, it's Kevin.)

But I was talking about being SxE and how I would only date an SxE guy during lunch today, and everyone who hangs in the band room, plus Danielle and Lauryn (they weren't in choir today, it's close to the end of the school year so there's no concerts to practice for) were there. and so, I don't remember how we got on the topic, but apparently even Marty has done something his mother wouldn't be proud of. And he's (seriously) the last one I expected. looks are deceiving.

So I'm the only good kid there, so to speak. So Matt and Lauryn went to the practice room to talk, and of course -oh conceited me- thought they were talking about me. Aaaand they were. Apparently Matt was worried that I still liked him. Because, as it turns out, he still does smoke. pffff. And I kinda had a feeling that he did, that's another reason I stopped liking him. I could NEVER date a guy who smokes. ickka.

Anyway, changing subject.

I talked to Ryan for a good long time today. Which was pretty nice. So he went to the same concert as Carly yesterday, it was Fall Out Boy and Cobra starship (i hate you carly. but not really. ily.) and metro station (who i kinda wish would go away, they had like one good song). and something else that I'm drawing a blank on ATM. That was his first concert, too.

We agreed a while ago that I'd take him to his first concert, and he'd take me on my first plane trip. 'cause at that time, I'd been to several concerts but never on a plane, and he'd been on several plane trips but never a concert. So, if I make it past AI auditions, I get to flyyyyy. But baybee's still takin' me to Shamrockland (ireland). unless chloe's moved by then, and in that case, London.
xDee (wantstoseechloe!!!!!!!!)

ps. We still have that deal, it just won't be his first concert or my first plane ride.
pps. I made kevin listen to ISMFOF. he likes themmmm=]