Lauryn and I aren't as good of friends as we were for, uh.. that week or so..
I don't know what's happening. I feel like it might be on me for that one, like it's just something I said, but at the same time I really don't know what it could be. Like, things haven't been the same since I told her some secret about me that, like, everyone here has already guessed as much. And it's not Matt. 'cause that is WAY over for me.
Plus, I've been doing a lot of thinking, like it wasn't the right thing to do to move. I mean, I'm glad mom and I aren't fighting every day, who wouldn't be, but on the flipside... There's just so much more wrong here than there is right. I can't live my life the way I used to. For instance:
- I can't eat lunch anymore. I just don't want to.
- I am the only vegetarian I know here.
- I am also the only SxE person I know here, from what I've gathered. Except, of course, Kevin.
- People worry about me. Monitghetto was way too big for anyone to worry about anyone for too long unless they were suicidal.
- The only times so far that I've been allowed to talk on the phone were monitored, so I couldn't tell my friends what I really thought, and Angie didn't like it anyway because I was "too weird" while I was talking to my friends. Um, HELLO. I'm a teenager. teenager = talks on phone = WEIRD. ok?
- I'm alone for most of the day. And even though I like being alone, there's some degree of loneliness that comes with being alone for almost all day for a month straight. Whereas when I was living with mom, there was at least one person home at all times. Usually mom.
And I'm not used to this! You'd think after a month that I'd at least be a little more accustomed to my new routine, but gah. MAJOR switchover. It's not like, just waking up about half an hour earlier every day to fit in a shower. It is complete and total routine-screw-up. (which is also a paradox, if you think about it.)
But instead, I can't wait for summer. At least then I'll get a break from the busy monotony (another paradox, but true).
xDee (flustered)
You're not allowed to talk on the phone? Wow. I think I'd die..I'm one of those annoying people who could sit and talk for hours (in case you haven't realised yet!). For example, Steph, my BFFFFFFFFF is in Brazil atm, she's from there and she goes every summer, for the whole summer, and we ring each other every two weeks..and we still stay chatting for hours. I swear, our parents want to kill us cos of the phone bills we run up.
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