20100503

I feel like I'm having an identity complex.

Dee
is not my name. it doesn't feel like it.
Deanna
is the same way. there's no distiction there.

And my last name?
Definitely not. it doesn't seem like it's mine.

I don't feel like I have a name, or a me, or a someone.

there's just.. i don't really know. I don't know how this happened, me not having a name and all...

but it did. I don't know when it happened, either. I'm just- someone else.

Like, I've changed since moving here- I'm still the same person, but different. I'm used. I'm disrespected. I'm...

different. from them. everyone.

I can't relate to people here, and the ones I have, even a little, will be gone soon. (graduating seniors and all that.)

But where is me? Who is me?

it's somebody else, that's for damn sure.

I want to find it, me, her, whoever. I'm still Harlequin, to a degree, but who else am I? Who's the real me?

I think right now, Harlequin is the only name I have, and people don't even know who she is.

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