Okay, I have to say it. 5/5/09

I like a guy. A LOT. Part of me wants to write it down right now, but there’re people around. Not as if everyone doesn’t already know.

Okay, his name is Matt.

I actually get nervous around him. That kind of stuff hasn’t happened sice the beginning of ninth grade, when I asked that one guy to homecoming. (If you don’t remember, you’re toasted ‘cause I’m not saying it.) (Even though, since I’m gone, it’s pointless to keep it hidden.) (In that case, it was Tucker.)

Anywhoodles… Matt. Let’s tell you what I know about him. Ok, start with his looks. He’s got freakishly amazing longish skater hair. And scruff. I never thought I would like scruff. (SEE WHAT THIS TOWN HAS DONE TO ME?!??!?!?!?!??!?) And he has awesome hair. He wears band tee shirts (but not like “emo bands,” stuff like Led Zep and Iron Maiden) and skinny / skater jeans. And have I mentioned he has amazing hair??

And he’s like, one of the only people I’ve met so far that doesn’t look like someone I’ve met before. (I’ll go into detail on that it some other post.)

He’s the lead singer of the local rock band. They played at the post-prom party, which was not last weekend but the weekend before. And he can play guitar halfway decently. (There’s a story about that in a different post as well, ‘cause that’d make for a REALLY long entry.)

Oh hey, I never mentioned the band name. It’s called Forever Waiting. They have a MySpace, look them up. I got to hear some of their songs (sans Matt, he’s not allowed in the band room at the school ATM, apparently there was some mishap with him getting ticked off and nearly breaking stuff) today during homeroom, ‘cause homeroom’s basically a screw-off, do-what-you-want fifteen minute long period of time. So I went to the band room and started playing my guitar (well, since I brought it…), then about 10 or so people made their ways there. It’s like, the party room or something. The band teacher’s not ever there, unless he needs something or it’s during one of his classes. So I don’t see why Matt can’t just sneak in or something. Even though, of course, that would be a bad idea and he’d get in big trouble.

Anyway, but Matt’s the lead singer of this band, and I still have no life. I’m not in a band, I don’t radiate cool, and I really don’t have self-esteem. Obviously. Therefore I have nothing going for me, therefore it is impossible for Matt to like me, and therefore I should get over it. Wow, all that philosophication and I come to a conclusion that I only ever come to after I’ve been rejected. I have some sort of scary intense bad self-esteem. And if anyone leaves a comment saying, “No, I’m sure he likes you,” or “Oh, don’t have bad self-esteem, you’re gorgeous,” I swear I will come to wherever you are and throttle you. No, not literally. You just know how I’ll feel about it.

And one more thing- I NO LONGER HAVE A CELL PHONE. I will reinstate verbal contact with at least one person when I get a new one.
xDee (in adoration)